if only you knew
by sebastianX
Summary: if itachi left sasuke a letter explaining EVERYTHING, what would it be like? here' what i think itachi would write. for those narutards who are not updated with naruto stuff, this has tons of spoilers


So this is my first ever letter-fanfic and even if I sound really pathetic saying this, I'm just going to come out and say it: this is by far the most emotional ff that I ever made. I wanted to cry so many times while I was writing this ff but I had to hold back the tears so my vision won't be hazy and I'll finish quickly. Anyway, this one's a tribute to the late and very admirable Uchiha Itachi who is, by the way, the best big brother the anime world has ever seen (sorry lelouch lamperouge and Edward elric. You guys are good big bros and all but Itachi is my no. 1).

Anyway, this ff features Uchiha Itachi writing a letter to Sasuke wherein he explains everything to him. It's kinda mushy but it's not gay-incest mind you (for all those yaoi fangirls out there, don't get any ideas!).

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

If you only knew

Sasuke,

I know that if ever you read this letter, it would be too late by then. You would've killed me already and fulfill what it is that you're supposed to fulfill: finish me in order to avenge our family. I also know that you'll be angrier at me than usual and I am truly sorry for that. I'm basically sorry for everything I've done but I know you won't give a damn about my stupid apologies. I already inflicted a wound in your life that would forever be a scar and I guess telling you the reasons why I did what I did would simply add more insult to injury.

So before I begin, I ask for your forgiveness. You might never accept my apologies but that's okay. I understand how much you must hate me. But, knowing that you are a smart kid, I hope you take the time to read and understand. I had no intentions of hurting you, Sasuke. You are the most important person in my life and you are the reason why I did what I did. You are my beloved little brother of course.

Here's how it all falls into place.

Long before ninja countries and villages were formed, there were clans who engaged in clan wars. These clans fought over land and power but among all those many clans, only two proved to be the strongest of them all: the Uchiha clan, our clan, and the Senju clan. The Uchihas and the Senjus were rivals. They were both notorious for the special bloodline that each clan possessed. Us Uchihas, as you know, are famous for our bloodline limit: the sharingan. Meanwhile the Senjus had the wood element manipulation bloodline limit which is by far the strongest element ever. To put it simply, these two clans were both really strong and powerful. Aside from that, these two clans were led by two equally strong shinobis. The Senjus were under Senju Hirashima and the Uchihas were led by Uchiha Madara. Bear in mind that these two clans were mortal enemies.

Now here's when it all started.

Just when everyone least expects it, the Senjus wanted to form an alliance with the Uchihas. The Senjus at that time were requested by the Fire country to act as their defense. Before long, the Uchihas accepted the peace treaty and everyone seemed pleased, except for one and that was none other than Uchiha Madara. Madara was enraged by the thought. He had a beloved little brother who had sacrificed his eyes for him since Madara was going blind. Madara needed to see in order to continue fighting but when the war ceased, his little brother's sacrifice was all for nothing.

It was indeed very sad.

Madara tried convincing his clan members to side with him and abandon the Senjus but everyone else was already satisfied as well as happy that peace had finally flourished. What's worse, everybody, even the Uchihas, wanted the first Hokage to be Senju Hirashima and that angered Madara. Basically, the Uchihas had betrayed him thus causing him to leave Konoha.

Then trouble ensued.

Years passed and the problem on who the second Hokage should be arose. Soon, it was decided that the first Hokage's younger brother was to be the next Hokage. To put it simply, it was another Senju and that somewhat infuriated the Uchihas. To make matters worse, a demon being named Kyuubi suddenly came out of nowhere and started destroying our village. Since the sharingan has the ability to somewhat control these demons, everyone in Konoha started to become suspicious of us Uchihas causing the next Hokage or the third Hokage to place our clan on the outskirts of the village. To monitor the Uchihas even more, we were even put in charge of Konoha's defense since we made up the Konoha Police force. In other words, we were directly under the watchful eye of the ANBU black ops.

It got much worse, Sasuke.

The Uchihas were being persecuted and it wasn't long before they planned a coup d'état to overthrow the Senjus who were starting to dominate. After the third great ninja war, Konoha was still recovering that time and didn't need any more problems. Not especially a civil war. I was around four years old when the third great ninja war happened and let me tell you: it was pure hell.

This is where I come in.

The third great ninja war left me incredibly traumatized. I grew up embracing peace and harmony and hating war and violence. In short, I was a pacifist. I know you might refuse to believe me, but I swear it's all true.

Little did I know that my pacifism would cause me much trouble.

As you've known, I was a child prodigy and was the pride of our clan. I graduated from the academy at the top of my batch and I was really young back then. I became a chuunin soon afterwards and before long, a jounin. At the tender age of thirteen, I was already a member of the ANBU ninjas.

That's when my life turned into hell.

The third Hokage along with the councils and the ANBU administrator, Danzo, were starting to sense the growing rebellion brooding within the Uchiha clan. They appointed me as a spy to spy on our clan. They told me to do so because if a rebellion ensued, then a civil war will occur. Being the pacifist that I was, I didn't want that to happen. Plus, war is one terrible thing that I don't want to go through again. And since I knew how it felt to experience all the fighting and the bloodshed, I didn't want you to experience that. You were around eight that time; still too young to witness hell.

I always wanted what was best for you, Sasuke.

Then my life became more difficult when our father told me to spy on the higher-ups of Konoha. I had to make the hardest decision of my life: my village or my family. It didn't take me too long to realize the answer to my problem. One look at that innocent face of yours and I knew what to do. I had to protect you and in order to do so I had to choose my village over my family. I was fed up with war and bloodshed. I couldn't take it anymore. And I didn't want you to have any part of it.

Here's the bad part.

Danzo, the ANBU administrator, was very impulsive. He said that the Uchiha clan was an incredible threat and that they should be terminated as quickly and as soon as possible. The Hokage at that time didn't want to do that since it was utterly inhumane. But reality struck him hard. Being one of the most notorious clans all over Konoha, we indeed posed as a threat. That's when the decision was made. I was to finish off my clan as ordered by the higher-ups. That was the only way to keep our village safe.

That was the only way to protect you, Sasuke.

So, I looked for someone to help me in my mission and I knew that the only person who could help me was Uchiha Madara. He despised our clan for abandoning him and so he was the perfect accomplice. But I made him promise one thing. I made him promise one very important thing. He could kill anyone that he liked but he should never lay even one finger on you, or else.

Now, here's something I want you to know.

The reason why the Hokage didn't tell you the truth about it all was because I told him not to do so. I told the Hokage to tell you that I was really a sick and twisted person and that I killed our clan just for the heck of it. I didn't want you to know because I wanted you to hate me and despise me. Your hatred fueled your strength and you needed that strength so you can kill me. You needed to end my life for the sake of our family. Call it anything you want but I call it tough love.

Bottom line is, everything I told you was a lie to protect you; to strengthen you.

Because that's what I truly feel about you as my brother, Sasuke. Like I said, you have been the most important person in my life. And you still are. I killed everyone else but I spared you because you were my playmate, my best friend, my confidante, and most especially my brother. You were more important than my life itself.

You're the brother that I love so much.

And now it's too late. If only the Uchihas and Senjus didn't despise each other. If only the Kyuubi didn't come to create havoc in our village. If only everybody believed in peace and harmony. If only I refused to kill our family. If only you knew.

I am sure that both of us would be all smiles together, side by side. Brother by brother.

-Uchiha Itachi

P.S. I am sure that you don't believe me. After all I've done to you; I'd actually be pretty surprised if you'd accept my apology so easily. But time heals all wounds. I know that someday you'll find it in your heart to understand me and forgive me for the hell that I put you through. Please understand that I wanted what was best for you. I never wanted to hurt you. Remember what I told you before when we were younger? I know that you might hate me but remember that I always got your back 'cause that's what big brothers are for. I'm sorry Sasuke.


End file.
